|| mAestRo fAD3 ||

2010-02-21T00:55:00.001+08:00

Another personality test on facebook

Dear Ryan, below are your Personality Tests result:

Who is your true self: You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.
Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth
You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like serious
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Smart
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Determined people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don't judge a book by its cover
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship

The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Your have very sensible tactics when approaching the opposite sex
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : In many ways people find your straightforwardness attractive
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So you will find yourself with plenty of dates

Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You listen to your own instincts
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Tend to follow your heart
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So you will probably end up with an unusual job

The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You need to choose something
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Go for it to be happy
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Achieve success

How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Nothing will stop you from trying

What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

2010-02-08T23:29:00.002+08:00

love me for who i am please...

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Nothing makes sense, nothing makes sense anymore
Nothing is right, nothing is right when you're gone
Losing my breath, I'm losing my right to be wrong
I'm frightened to death
I'm frightened that I won't be strong

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

I'm shaking it off, I'm shaking off all of the pain
You're breaking my heart, breaking my heart once again

I want someone to love me
For who I am
I want someone to need me
Is that so bad?
I wanna break all the madness
But it's all I have
I want someone to love me
For who I am

Unwritten part 3

2010-02-07T12:59:00.002+08:00

Unwritten - Part 3

When one door closes, another one opens.

Oh, why you look so sad?
The tears are in your eyes
Come on and come to me now
Don't, be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
'Cause I've seen a dark side too

When the night falls on you
You don't know what to do
Nothing you confess
Could make me love you less

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you

So, if you're mad get mad
Don't hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide?
I get angry too
Well, I'm a lot like you

When you're standin' at the crossroads
And don't know which path to choose
Let me come along
'Cause even if you're wrong

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

And when, when the night falls on you, baby
You're feelin' all alone
You won't be on your own

I'll stand by you
I'll stand by you
I won't let nobody hurt you
I'll stand by you
Take me in into your darkest hour
And I'll never desert you
I'll stand by you

unwritten love story part2

2009-11-23T23:05:00.002+08:00

Unwritten love story part 2

It's been 3 months, 11 days, and a few hours that we've been together. The up's and down's of a relationship has very much been felt. It's as if we've been together for 3 years. Well, it all boils down to the maturity level of the two parties.
When love is out of the equation, do you have anything else to hold on to? I can safely say we have. Be it sex, talking, telling crappy, lame jokes. It doesn't matter. Cause if we hold on together, i know our dreams will never die.

I'm not saying we're all out of love. We very much love each other. Loving each other for our imperfections, the quirks, our weird habits, and opposing characters.

It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you.
There's nothing that a hundred men or more can ever do.
Let's take some time to do the things we've never had.

Cause you are my baby love.

Ever thine, ever mine, ever ours. Loves baby love.

2009-08-12T18:58:00.001+08:00

An unwritten love story?

One day, a boy named s** went on the internet to visit his favourite chatroom. He, being forever horny, was looking for someone to hook up and leave (spelled ONS). He was there for a good half an hour before a new kid joined the room. His post read "Skinny chn teen seek malay teen for fun." Short and sweet. It was even sweeter that there weren't any malays around by chance. So s**, being half malay, went to click on him and started a conversation.

s** mly only?
t** lol
t** you chn?
s** haha
t** XD
s** nope
t** oso can ba
t** XD
s** im half malay
s** haha
t** hahas
t** ok ok
t** XD
t** intro??
s** 19 166 58 eurasian mly
t** lol
t** ok ok
t** XD
s** haha
s** you leh?
t** i 180 47 chn
t** XD
t** you mind?
t** XD
s** nope
s** haha
s** and you're soooo talll!
t** hahas
t* thnks
t** XDD
t** you got msn?
t** XD
s** yupx
t** hahas
t** you add me?
t** XD
t** i lazy add
t** XD
s** ookays

Pretty harmless conversation eh? Well, they met up to do what they were suppose to do. It all went well until the end when t gave s a deep, passionate kiss. One he hasn't had as long as he could remember. Now, s (if you haven't already figured it) is a player. One that f**ks and forget. He has, however, been trying to settle down with someone and stop playing around.

The kiss

It changed s. It made him feel full. He didn't feel the usual emptiness he has after a session. No. This boy is different. A kiss. That's all it took.

t - Well, i've did with a few others before. But its a ONS only.
s - So, i'm guessing this is the end for us? Haha. Well, it was fun while it lasted.

On the way home

t - so, how was it?
s - erm, well... i kinda liked it?
t - haha, which part?
s - i dono... all? why?
t - well, i have a funny feeling you kinda like me...
s - hmm.. maybe? :P

fast forward? 4 days later, they're so in love, that everything t does, he thinks of s.
s made t cry. and t has never felt this way for another before...

the catch?
t is attached....
s has commitment issues...

to be continued......

2009-07-24T18:09:00.000+08:00

A Different Personality Quiz

Your view on yourself:

You are intelligent, honest and sweet. You are friendly to everybody and don't like conflict. Because you're so cheerful and fun people are naturally attracted to you and like to talk to you.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.

The seriousness of your love:

You like to flirt and behave seductively. The opposite sex finds this very attractive, and that's why you'll always have admirers hanging off your arms. But how serious are you about choosing someone to be in a relationship with?

Your views on education

You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.

How do you view success:

You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous.

What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:

You are full of energy and confidence. You are unpredictable, with moods changing as quickly as an ocean. You might occasionally be calm and still, but never for long.

2009-05-15T19:38:00.003+08:00

ahhh, after a long while, i'm back.... well, it's technically a week only since my last post....

still lost and confused.... not quite ready but i guess i'm growing up?

i'm actually pissed since last week... the people in taekwondo hasn't been helping much with this....

how is it my fault that i say i have no standards? have any of you bothered about how I felt? when i say i have no standards, have you asked whether its me speaking from a player, coach or referee's point of view? ever considered that? ever realise how shallow your thinking is? ever realise that "Hey, he does suck as a contestant, but he's a damn good referee!"

no time for this bullshit....

luckily, i still can look back at this week and smile cause i met Hard Kaur... i miss her... she miss me... loads to talk bout.... :)

luck fife...

2009-05-08T19:35:00.003+08:00

wah! what a week man! i met so many familiar faces! damn happy! hahaha....

i met cin li lim on the way to school, mark (the blur block), swee hao, lynard, john, and a lot of old friends from taekwondo/life... hahaha, so nice to see them all... reminds me of the good times we've had....

an unexpected turn of events, i'm not ready, i hope you understand?

here i am minding my own business, and cupid has to be a busybody? what's his problem? if he isn't happy, we can settle it on our own... damn him....

you've got me confused, and lost.... i'm not used to having a she in my life... i'm quite happy oogling, googling, drooling over hot guys.... you're a girl.... damn-ed....

2009-02-17T22:55:00.002+08:00

Lost & Confused, Down & Out

Oh baby you
Got what I need
But you say I'm just a friend
But you say I'm just a friend
Cause I can be your fantasy
But you say I'm just a friend
But you say I'm just a friend

Spoke to John and Ginny (part 1), now need Christine and Ginny (part 2)

Not fine, and don't ask why.

Friendships Never End

2009-02-12T23:24:00.002+08:00

Friendships Never End

This week was great for me! Obviously not the stress level from school, work, and school, but from the people I met.

First, Nouru/ Noor and Cin Li - in the same drama GEMS! WTF! I miss both of them to the kaur! AAAAHHHHHH!
Cin Li makes me calm and whole again just by listening to me and giving advice only a god-bro for the past 6 years can!
Nouru FujiHalal makes me smile without fail! His malay (yang tak menjadi) and his silly-ness makes me smile! Oh, and his smile makes me melt as well! (Don't tell him that hor!)

Today, I met Wee Chng, my batch of black belt. (Okay, he is junior by a few months, so what?) He never fails to give me motivation to fight to the end! He saw me and simply said "Slacker you! Don't want to compete anymore, fake injury only, go to hell lah! Can kick head, yet act like 91 year old with so much problems." With that, he simply reminded what I was like when we were growing up. No fear. We were simpler back then, fight till the end. You die or I die.

I'm fucking motivated to go competiton this year, and with him joining us again, i'm sure i'll be my normal self again!

Oh, last month I met another black belter from my batch. 4 of us practically grew up together lah. That one gain weight like fuck! Hahaha, but nevermind. After NS join us hor Matthew!

One more person I miss like fuck. H Harveen Ginny Hard Kaur Dhillion. After exams, me and you one-on-one treat it like a showdown. You know I miss you like fuck right?

Haix, I grew up too fast for my own liking/good lah...

You dont understand

2009-01-15T23:24:00.003+08:00

You don't understand, I ain't scareds of you motherfuckers!

Hahahahaha, random sentence from Def Jam - Bernie Mac (RIP)

I passed my NCAP (Technical) Level 1! Yeah!

Today's Thursday, my hyper day! All the ball-gazers in my class got a good "soft" punch from me! Hahahahahahah!

I'm sure it didn't hurt right guys? :P

Status: Single, lonely, confused, sad, available, confused

Hmmm.....

Kembalikanlah semangatku Return me my strength
Kembalikan ketenanganku Return me my peace
Kurebah tanpamu I'm lost without you

Tak terdaya lagi bernafas I've got no will to live
Jiwa daku semakin lemas My soul is sinking
Dahagakan cintamu Exhaust your love
Kaulah nyawaku For you are my life

Resolutions

2009-01-08T19:04:00.002+08:00

Apparently, i totally forgot all about my New Year Resolutions. Well, i'm elated to know that i've managed to achieved all of 2008's resolution (of course with life's up's and down's along the way). This year's resolutions are gonna be like the last, all about me and people directly in contact with my life.
There's the school achievement, sporting achievement, personal gains, level of fame to achieve and work achievement. Obviously I won't spell everything out here in detail (but if you want to know, you're welcome to look at my laptop!).

Another course to attend this week. Haix, then another one in the week after. I hope to start teaching soon!

Ever thine, Ever Mine, Ever Ours.

Loves, ________

Lonely + Single

2009-01-05T22:15:00.004+08:00

Well, TKD practical exam is finally over! Now left with Critical Reasoning Skills and Electrical Technology papers this week. Good news is, i've got complimented by the examiner (TKD) on a few things. But then again, it's a course with high failure rates. *fingers crossed*

All the best to Daryl, Jasper, Wei Fun, David, Zhen Kang and all those taking their practical this Sunday!

Not forward to this Saturday's course. Another TKD course to attend. Damn-ed

I've always said that my status is "bored, single, horny, lonely, desperate". Well, here's the lonely and single part.

Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me

I can't light no more of your darkness
All my pictures seem to fade to black and white
I'm growing tired and time stands still before me
Frozen here on the ladder of my life

It's much too late to save myself from falling
I took a chance and changed your way of life
But you misread my meaning when I met you
Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find, the right romantic line
But see me once and see the way I feel
Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm
But these cuts I have, they need love to help them heal

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free
Cos losing everything is like the sun going down on me

Don't let the sun go down on me
Although I search myself, it's always someone else that I see
I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free, baby
Cos losing everything is like the sun going down on me

TKD Course/Heart Break

2008-12-29T22:56:00.003+08:00

When i'm feeling weak, and my pain walks down a one way street, I look around and i'm scared. You know why? Cause 'till know, i've always got by on my own.

Break-ups = misery, heartache, a troublesome and messy affair. Period.

Just lyrics for this section will do. I guess.

Four O'Clock in the morning
My minds filled with a thousand thoughts of you
And how you left without warning
But looking back I'm sure you tried to talk it through

Now I see it so clearly
We're together but living separate lives
So I wanna tell you I'm sorry
Baby I can't find the words
But if I could, then you know I would

Anyways, a BIG THANK YOU to all those people who made my TKD Coach Course way more fun! (Even though I was perpetually late, but then again, what's new?)

In order of appearance:

Qing Gui, Christine - For agreeing to come together with me for the course
Zhen Kang - Whom i've met from SP TKD training
Jasper - Loner St Theresa guy who is so quite but can be a silent killer!
Daryl - RI boy for all the lame crap and disturbing Jasper and Zhen Kang
Jacqueline - Cheng San (Fellow Leng Kee TKD), for being my suan-ing partner
David - My stalker in SP, horny yet cute and overly heavy guy for sharing the table with me
San Cheng - The Acme guy who apologises about everything and anything
Wei Fun, Skandan, Aaron, Pauline - For adding spice to the conversation for the fun of it!

And of course:

MR BONG!

Met this one at National Poomsae Competition (Beginning of the year), then Kyorugi Competition (August), and in this course!
Hahah, even though he's way older then me (and my parents!), he was a great partner for (3-step, 1-step, pre-arranged) sparring, suan-ing others, point out other people's mistakes, and for poking fun in general. Without him, and the rest mentioned, I would have died of boredom! I swear!

2008-11-08T22:00:00.002+08:00

It's been exactly a month since i've blogged. Well, people ask me how's life.
My answer is the same for now: I'm alive. That's all. Surviving.

I was damn sad, yet happy yesterday.
Sad because 31st NCO is an endangered species at the 34th NCO POP last night. 6 of us only. 2 Braddell-Westlakers, 1 Broadrick, 1 Christ Church, 1 Hougang, 1 Ghim Moh. How pathetic can we get? Very. It has been one cycle. That's enough to kill off any traditions in band. That has truly happened.

Happy because on the way home, I met an old friend from TKD. Smoked, drank, and talked about everything we didn't know connected us more. Thank you Isaac for last night :)

I've tried to improve attitude in school. The three areas of improvements are:
1) Punctuality,
2) Attendance,
3) Grades

So far, only 1 and 3 have been attained. Better then nothing right? Haha, whatever floats my boat.

I still have insomnia over you!

I seriously need a Boyfriend. Period.

In Malay!
Dengan cinta, ku bina istana
Kau sentuh runtuh, jadi pusara
Cahaya hidup ku jadi gerhana
Bisa jiwa menanggung derita?

Ku semai benih kasih sejati
Ku pupuk dengan baja nan asli
Ngapa kau siram racun yang pedih?
Ku tuai kini hanya rasa nan sedih

Ku mimpikan istana janjimu
Ku hias cantik dalam angan angan
Sebab bencana datang menganggu
Kini hancur musnah istana impian.

2008-10-08T23:01:00.002+08:00

Whatever Floats Your Boat, Bitch

I have insomnia!
I have all the signs and sypmtoms of hyper thyroid apparently. Hyper activity of the thyroid gland. Or not how else would you explain the weight loss?

Well doctor, i don't have it. I have a psychological issue. If i'm sad, all kinds of signs & symptoms comes to me and they usually dont match any specific illness/problems.

You know what mental illness I have? I fcking need a boyfriend. The knot in my heart has caused this pain. You know what caused the insomnia?
My body's unwillingness to sleep because I have the same stupid dream of YOU!
I thought I could get over you damn it! Urgh! It's the bloody same dream for 2 weeks now. Let me sleep. Let me live my life in peace. You never loved me, why should my heart dream and think of you oh so fondly? As is you would give a damn to my existence in this world lah!

So i'm back to work already, yay! -.-

Best friends, my foot. Shouldn't have made that mistake from the start. Go side him all you want. I can't be bothered.

Whatever floats my boat

I wonder why,
You said goodbye.
Leaving me all alone to cry.
My love for you is forever.
I wonder why,
You’re like the wind.
Ever appearing like a dream.
You belong here by my side,
You are my destiny.

2008-09-26T22:14:00.004+08:00

Mamma Mia!

It's the craze with bands-men (active or otherwise) and i've yet to catch it. Anyone to ask me out? Pretty please! I wanna hear the songs ~~especially~~, and catch ~~a bit of~~ the acting cause I heard the show's no good yet the tunes are oh so familar to us band geeks.

I met up with H. Harveen Ginny Hard Kaur Dhillio, Shalini Gundu Devan Nair and Jessica yesterday. They were studying, so I acted as if I ~~would~~ could. You do know I don't study during school term right? I do it during holidays lah. Haha, i'm trying to catch up with Additional maths, in preparation for Engineering Mathematics next semester (which incidentally starts in 3 weeks time).

I missed them both. The fun, laughter, skipping classes and what nots. Those were my green salad days in JC. (Quote from Antony & Cleopatra) Haha. To ensure I didn't miss literature that much, we ~~bumped~~ sneeked up on our ex lit tutor, Ms Bitch Tan Su Linn. She's so damn fugly now. Well, eversince she got married. (I'm sure the hubby's a bastard, hence the marriage!)

Work is so-so. Hair is in a state of Woah! (I got it re-highlighted and trimmed) And my love life is still non-existent.

Anyone interested in me? We can hook up. I'm flex, so it doesn't matter if you're top or bottom. I'll match/suit your needs. *winks*

Okays, still wondering whether to work or not tomorrow. Hmmm, so lazy. But no ones home and I should probably take full advantage of that fact right? Hahaha. Go figure what i'm gonna do!

Another thought!

When I was young, I never needed anyone, and making love was just for fun. Those days are gone. Living alone, I think of all the friends I've known but when i dial the telephone, nobody's home.

All by myself. Don't wanna be all by myself.Anymore

2008-09-20T23:22:00.002+08:00

Fully recovered already lah!

So I worked ~~non-stop~~ a lot this week, and almost forgot about the release of my semestral results.
Horrible i'm telling you! A crappy GPA of 2.7! What? Be a road sweeper after this huh?
At least i got that ~~damned~~ deserved distinction for OC.

I conducted 2 birthday parties today at an outlet in the east. My first in like 9 months? Great thing is that the customer enjoyed it! Yay me! Haha, not to forget the incredible amount of help I got from Charmiane and Angela. Girl power!

Ok people, listen! Don't be scared just because I work in HQ. I work there, doesn't mean I own that place! So don't be shocked/scared/shy when I visit your store. I'm there just to do some work/project. We're out to serve the customer, and I help seek ways to improve it. That's all. No big deal! (Unless you do something wrong and i complain up there that is, LOL )

Working again tomorrow. Hmm, just a thought:

I always, out of pure stupidity (and resist to learn the most important lesson in life), put 101% in every relationship that I get into.
Although I tell myself time and again that I need to reserve 20% and only put in 80% in any relationship, so that I can bounce back into perfect shape with that 20%.
But my emotional self refuses to listen to my inner thoughts.
I still offer a 100% and I think I will continue to offer that.
Nah, I think I'll offer 99%.
The other 1% is for me to remain alive to start munching in a state of depression.

2008-09-13T14:40:00.002+08:00

Back At Last

Well, can you believe I had just recovered from another high fever? This time, it isn't so bad. The last time was in 2005, 3 weeks of high fever.
Now it's just 1 and a half weeks of it. And of course the other half week was filled with diarrhoea/ gastric pains. The latter is normal ~~unfortunately~~

Well, I would like to thank everyone for being so supportive and caring and keep sending me the well wishes. (Though I had to settle work as well, and run errands for work. I'll kill the other 3 if they don't appreciate this.)

Thank YOU for listening to me over the phone and for the countless well-wishes. Thank you for the encouragement and hope for everything. And i hope you smile cause you just had your birthday! Smile all right? Be happy!

Oh yes, I can't wait for the exam results to be released next week! I'm bloody nervous. What if I have to forward a module? I don't want to attend school on an additional day! I'm happy with my Wednesdays off! Boo-hoo.

Be careful what you wish for!

2008-09-02T21:17:00.003+08:00

Be careful what you wish for!

Yesterday, my boss was seriously ill. Best part? She wished she was sick last week. Hmm, it was out of fun when we said that but true enough, 'twas really bad. Haha, well, i got a scolding because of that as well. I thought i could just come to the office, sign my papers and get my pay. Apparently, i had to do the data entry first. I was in bermudas, and got a scolding up down left, right, center. No time for them you know!

Well, i got gastric today. Not so good for my second day of fasting. I hate it when i have gastric. Its like PMS for me. I scolded everyone and everything. Bad mood, during fasting month not so good.

I love you bf. The guy i saw was just a crush. Don't worry. I've got no thoughts of replacing you in my life :D

And here are some pictures just for the heck of it.

Me and my sis at Royal Plaza Hotel for a lunch treat.

Retro Night at McD Boat Quay. My boss, me, Ronald, Saiful.

Me and Saiful preparing for the event.

Me before work. Haha. Nice smile sexay! Woots

pesta sukan 08

2008-09-01T06:35:00.002+08:00

Fasting Month!

Soooo yesterday i lost my match.... hahah, and people are asking why im soo happy even though i didn't win anything... well here are my reason(S):

*the only failure is one who doesnt participate, i did :D

*the world's number 1 is the person who continues to improve his scores. last year, i lost 0 to -1 this year, i lost 0-2. I didn't get points deduction and my opponent found it hard to score against me :D

*this is my last competition. telling people i'm aiming for national team is just a load of crap. i'm halfway to becoming a full coach. im already team captain. haha :D

Okays, so the competition venue was full of hottays! hahaha, 2 cute referees and a lot of good looking fighters (though they're sweaty and stinky) hahaha.

My tkd cute guy is finally responding! I'm sooo happy! I've had a crush on him for ages lah. At the comp, he was the only one awarding me points (unfortunately, it takes 3 judges to give 1 point) and he kept smiling at me :D
Maybe that's why i lost eh? hahaha...
even my friends from SP asked what happened... why i was so passive in the match (cause they know i sooo love to K.O. people by putting my leg on their face :D)

Well people, i've had one too many injuries from my 13 years in TKD. One of it is my lower back. With a lower back injury, a kick to the head is out of reach cause your body just restricts it or else, it will be strained further. I've got it all in my 13 years, ankle knee, lower back, shoulder injuries that have restricted my movements as a dancer :P

well, that's that. its fasting month. i shall try to be a good boy for the moment. well, that's 'till the horns come out.

A picture to sum up my post on the match.

2008-08-29T00:23:00.003+08:00

August!

*new position at work's great! with a new hottay in town! (*winks)

*still hate you

*training and competing in Nationals this month. 31st, a day before Puasa, yay! ):

*~~wishing~~ training to be in national team for taekwondo

*thinking of going back to rugby instead

*my only paper and i sucked at it, but holidays great! 2 months baby!

*wishes to be in a relationship again, but will time heal the wounds?

2008-08-01T00:19:00.000+08:00

okays, update! I start with july. just 1 update for that.

i fucking hate you! 4 years of loving you whole-heartedly, all you say is "you're creeping me out", "stop it" and my fave "fuck off from my life"

thank you very much... my love for you turned to hate...

funny, back then you were my drive for life... never give up, put your heart in what you believe in....

now you still are... if i get the chance, i'll kill you

honestly, look in the mirror first ok? muackx

ever mine to kill *hates____

2008-06-19T13:04:00.004+08:00

Tiring Week. Lazy Week.

Last week was hectic i swear! 4D3N of band camp, followed by Taekwondo performance, Band performance and finally Taekwondo competiton.
Well, I got silver for the team event and didn't even make it to the finals for the individual event. Embarassing since i'm a certified coach. Damn-ed.

Oh well, band's a bore with juniors who aren't willing to learn. I've got much to teach young one, listen to me for once, you might actually improve your playing capabilities. I don't lose out on anything for not guiding you. At all. Too bad for you only lah.

That was last week. This week is lazy week.

I swear i'm still recovering from the fatigue that i wake up super late everyday. Like 12.30pm today. Haha.

So I finally caught Sex and the City on Monday with John. The theatre was full of 3 groups of people. Couples, gays and big groups of female who seem to be Sex & the City wannabe. I apparently don't fall into either category :P

Wednesday, watched Kung Fu panda with the nyahs from work. McD Movie day out! Thank you boss for switching the ticket with me! yay-ness! haha, after the show, walk around vivo for awhile while trying to flirt with females.
I'm still not into triangles Siti!

Well, i'm hoping to finish up my OC and IDEA projects asap. My group leaders are literally breathing down my neck! No time for them! MNL projects tau!

Ever thine, Ever mine, Ever ours. Loves you _____. (Guess the name :D)

2008-06-08T09:38:00.009+08:00

All For Love

-Beacuse You're That All I Want, You're All That I Need-

When it's love you give

I'll be a man of good faith.

Then in love you live.

I'll make a stand, I won't break

I'll be the rock you can build on,

be there when you're old,

to have and to hold.

When there's love inside

I swear I'll always be strong

then there's a reason why.

I'll prove to you we belong

I'll be the wall that protects you

from the wind and the rain,

from the hurt and pain.

When it's love you make

I'll be the fire in your night.

When it's love you take.

I will defend, I will fight

I'll be there when you need me.

When honor's at stake,

This vow I will make

Don't lay our love to rest

Cause we can stand up to the test.

We got everything, that and more

Then we had planned,

More than the rivers that run the land.

We've got it all, in our hands.

Now it's all for one and all for love.

Let the one you hold be the one you want

The one you need,

Cause when it's all for one it's one for all.

When there's someone that should know

then just let your feelings show.

When there's someone that you want,

when there's someone that you need

Let's make it all for one and all for love.

2008-06-06T01:24:00.004+08:00

These words are my own.

Can I ever be your dream, your wish, your fantasy?

You're like a prince, i a pauper
everything for you is prim and proper
damn you're always in my mind
like a memory, a dream, and i cant deny
im like a passing figure, a shadow
but my feelings for you, no one will know

let the 1 i hold be the 1 i need
and boy, i need you like no other
its just sad, that when i think of you, inside i bleed
cos i swear you don't effing bother

I'll do it all for love
I'd give my all, i'd risk my life
Cause i can't go, living in the memory of a song

Now my life seems like its been blessed by an angel
How can it be true?
You don't know of my existence. But you have captivated me like no other.
You've kept my hopes and dreams alive.
A dream i found in you.
I've always thought that love was the strangest thing to me.
It has always been a passing fling.
But when you smile, i realize, i have simply found heaven by my side.

All this came out when i was emo-ing on tuesday night. I guess my feelings for you is more then a crush. You will never know though.

Loves,
Ryan S. Michaels

2008-05-31T16:34:00.002+08:00

let me make it clear you were nothing but a passing fling. a crush. after 3 weeks, i was hoping you get the point that i talk to you out of friendship. not out of love. i know we cant make it as lovers. we're both flex bottom. 2 submissive don't make 1 dominant. well, i really hope you understand. i'm not typical.

Anyways, i'm going to Adora Sarah Chou's house tonight! Yayness! Finally after wanting to go there for ages lah! It's her birthday today! hahaha. Happy birthday girlfriend!
And i'm going with Saiful "the hot momma steward! hahahaha. it's gonna be the sex!

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But my will gets weak
And my thoughts seem to scatter

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
But everything changes
And my friends seem to scatter

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter
Because the flesh will get weak
And the ashes will scatter

So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness
Forgiveness
Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

2008-05-30T20:18:00.004+08:00

Finally, i've managed to log in after a week long of failed attempts. Now, i'm going to update whatever i've missed updating.
Okays, so the alumnus meeting went out great! 20 alumni have pledged support for the upcoming band camp. That's a signigficant increase from the previous camp of about 5 regulars and 5 who didn't stay over.
Okays, so i've not been attending CCA's and i think i'm better off like that.
I watched Zee perform 2 days ago for Momentum 2008. She was the sex i swear! Let me feeling malay abit. Wah, dah up seh girl kite ni! Chaybah sama dia lah! Gua caya sama lu lah girl!
Enough malay. I went there with Daen and Raihan. So cute the two of them.
I have to stop smoking so passionately. Period.

~~I is missing no one. You is a ass. I is patient.~~ :D

Well open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love
Listen to the music of the moment baby sing with me
I love peaceful melody
It's your god forsaken right to be loved loved loved loved loved

So, i won't hesitate no more,
No more, it cannot wait i'm sure
There's no need to complicate our time is short
This is our fate, i'm yours

2008-05-18T13:10:00.003+08:00

Okays, so this week i attended my first band practice in SP. Apparently, i know quite a few of the members there so i wasn't that lonely. (My Section Leader is quite suprised at my popularity hurhurhur.)
So screw all the heartaches and what nots, cause i seriously think i'm better off alone. Anyways, here's a song dedicated to Nouru, Shirlynn, and whoever is down and out.

~~Goodbye~~
I can see the pain living in your eyes
And I know how hard you try
You deserve to have so much more
I can feel your heart and I sympathize
And I'll never criticize
All you've ever meant to my life

I don't want to let you down
I don't want to lead you on
I don't want to hold you back
From where you might belong

I just can't live a lie anymore
I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry
There's nothing left to say but goodbye

So apparently i'm watching a play tonight. Believe it or not, it's in malay. Haix. It's P. Ramlee the musical. So i'm guessing it's gotta be good cause i enjoy watching his works and he's a legend.

Tomorrow, GYSB Alumnus meeting. God bless us.

2008-05-13T00:11:00.003+08:00

okays, fuck all this bullshit about heartaches and heartpain

Once and for all, Fade - take life with a truckload of salt, you know you aint getting a gays loving so screw it. i'm done with all this crappy bitter ending. move on, dont take it to heart.

wow, your a story i left behind over 6 years ago, and you have reappeared on pages of my tainted history to taint it again. it aint your fault. the gay community is small. not your problem.

i seriously wonder whether to return back to being a fucking straight. fuck it, that would cause lesser heart wrenching stories cause i wont be the submissive one in the fucking relationship.

maybe i'm not cut for a relationship.

and i always thought i had commitment issues. apprently its an orientation issue.

2008-05-07T11:35:00.004+08:00

fuck what i said, it don't mean shit now
such a beautiful liar you are
i'm dumb
don't lead me on like that if you didn't mean it
fuck it

But you put on quite a show
Really had me going
Now it’s time to go
Curtain’s finally closing
That was quite a show
Very entertaining
But it’s over now

You've made me really emotional
Don't comfort me again if it means breaking my heart

~~go fuck a fish~~

irritable me

2008-05-01T17:57:00.002+08:00

so i was labelled short by a japanese. irony. go fuck a fish.

school's fine for the week. but i swear to god if i get the chance, i'll kill mr tellytubies from the workshop. i'll use the gigantic saw and cut your belly open and rip your guts out.

today's a holiday but i'm in a foul mood. i swear i pissed off at everyone in my family. well, only my parents.

i swear i'm so crazy today and pissed off that i made my sisters and my 23 plush toys sit around me and talk to each other. they were nice to listen to me. but crazy nonetheless.

i think i'm starting to really really miss JC. but drama is here in SP to make me feel good. i'm acting as a british soldier.
perform for whom? the British High Commissioner of Singapore.

i rock my own sock.

strumming my pain with his fingers.
singing my life with his words.
killing me softly with his song.

i'm a slave for you. appreciate that.

SP W2

2008-04-26T13:40:00.002+08:00

So i didnt attend 2 out of 4 school days. Oh, i only have 4 days of school every week! Hahax, rocks lah! I swear! Anyways, my leg got injured at TKD training on thursday, hence the MC on friday. I couldn't bloody walk on friday lah bloody hell! Luckily i'm much better now.

Anyways, I heard this sentence and don't know how much of it is true.
"Most people fall for the idea of being in love rather then fall in love."

What happens when you meet Mr Right too soon?
You grab him.
There's no such thing as too soon.

1st week of school

2008-04-20T14:00:00.004+08:00

okays, so school rocks. the timetable is so slack that i'm bored. i'm thinking of taking a few additional modules, and maybe 2 CCAs. So far, theatre has already called me, so i guess that will be my 1st CCA.
Okays, monday was and is the longest day in school. i've got like only 3 lessons but really long lessons. so mondays are my 9 to 5! AUTOCAD for 4 hours! damn-ed! That's 4 hours of drawing and designing mind you!
Tuesday isn't that bad since its 3 hours of workshop in the afternoon, and a really slack electronics class in the morning. Okays, pics from tuesday's workshop practice:

The horribly huge drilling machine from hell! hahx

the materials im going to work on, metal

the materials to get started

everything ready to begin drilling

the drill!

It's as if we're manufacturing robots for the future! hahx so over!

Okays, on wednesday we had a half hour lesson. No comments.

Well, thursday was horrid cos i was late for class.... 40mins late! hahx, it doesnt matter cos i caught up witht he lesson in no time!

it was physics + a maths + emaths = enginnering mechanics

Friday = 2hours of boredom, so i went for a smoke halfway through. hahx

anyways, my worst nightmare has come through. i'm doing a hell lot of physics, maths, drawing/design and it's going to be my career. i might as well start enjoying all this now.

Syf - Pain is temporary, Glory is forever

2008-04-13T13:40:00.002+08:00

Pain is temporary, Glory is forever

the band got a certificate of merit. congrats to Canberra for getting the certificate of distinction.
Deyi rocks! i swear the DM is so power! and i'm glad he got the best DM of the year award lah, he deserved it! bowen got gold, that was sad but expected.

listen, i've put in my heart and soul for the band. so did rebecca. we both forgo our responsibilities and commitments for this band. DO NOT tell us we're from braddell-westlake and this is Guangyang. And DO NOT blame us for this results. we're both hurt by the comments. i'm glad this is over and i'm saying this again, it's my last. my school has closed down, i dont see why i should still be here. i'M NOT PAID TO DO ALL THIS.

fuck it, you guys dissapoint us more then the results.

2008-04-08T13:24:00.002+08:00

so i skipped orientation on monday.... whats new? anyways, i swear my timetable rocks! hahax, no way will i get this life if i was still in YJC....
out of 5 days, i have real study time on mondays and tuesdays only! hahx, i'll be in school only for like 2 hours on wed, thur and fri.... nyehehe... anyways, i'm missing McD.... but time to move on.....

Dedicated to YOU
Til now, I always got by on my own
I never really cared until I met you
And now it chills me to the bone
How do I get you alone?
You don't know how long I have wanted to touch your lips and hold you tight
No, You dont know how long i have waited, and i was going to tell you tonight
But the secret is still my own
And my love for you is still unknown

2008-03-31T20:51:00.003+08:00

updates for march

1) i went on a holiday and won RM$100 at a bingo game for hotel guests
2) slept in a suite for the first time in my life, or at least in living memory
3) last day of work is on the 31st march 2008, unless i accept the beautiful offer from my executive
4) ate at the disney restaurant with 2 nyahs and my sis and enjoyed myself thoroughly
5) miss you badly, even with your nasty look
6) need a boyfriend lah
7) a student of Singapore Poly - course S58 - BioEngineering
8) got a red laptop bundled with a great bargain

Well, that's all for march. I'm no longer in McD, and im excited and looking forward to school next week. Hope to keep in touch with my fellow ex-colleagues. Don't worry, i still have the ketchup in my veins.

Lyrics
And I can’t stand you
Must everything you do
Make me wanna smile?
Can I not like it for awhile?

You know exactly what to do
So that I can’t stay mad at you
For too long, that’s wrong

~~I dream of you everynight, you're my hero, my star. Say you'll be mine. Please?~~

2008-03-12T23:02:00.004+08:00

so the underage party wasn't that bad..... cos i got to drink my night away! hahax, cover charge was only $14.... apparently i met a lot of people i wasn't to keen on meeting there (except for you!)

the day started with me, saiful, idah cleaning up props for our pasir ris road show... i swear we had a picnic there in the dungeon! hahx, it smells of chicken, sushi and pizza! (and i met Adora Sarah Chou! Miss you girlfriend)

then send off my contract girlfriend at the airport... i'm going to miss you Fazi! we ate chicken (again), this time at popeye's.....

today's not so good..... i drank liquor, ate a lot and smoked..... back to the old ways eh?

Zouk's above 18 queue was much shorter than the underage line thank god! stayed and enjoyed myself till 4am with Idah (i counted down to her birthday!) danced, flirt, drank.... it was the sex!
came home only at 6.30am. i enjoyed the day!

For You!

I remember the very first day that I saw him
I found myself immediately intrigued by him
It's almost like I knew this man from another life

It's truly my pleasure to share his company
And I know that it's god's gift to let me breathe the air he breathes.

I love him in every way
From personal to universal but most of all
It's unconditional

2008-03-11T00:45:00.003+08:00

7th March
Okay, so dance on the 7th for HR wasn't that bad.... got great feedback.... so my last official function before i leave i guess? hahx, whatevs......

I watched the Fantastic crew later that day..... I miss [Mys-Zi], and well, she rawked! said hi to Ewan and Zi's mum and sis..... anyways, i had to leave early cos i when to meet Adora Sarah Chou at Clarke Quay.... supposedly to drink but i rushed home to get some stuff for work....

Then i worked overnite to put up some beautiful deco for my pyjamas party tomorrow. working for God-knows-how-long already, but im still alive
(thank goodness i had Idah and Saiful today at dance in the morning and deco at nite with me)..... the place is beautiful! well i've been deco-ing for a while already so it better look good! :)

8th March
Met Saiful and Idah (again) to go for a wedding..... so beautiful the bride! i wanna be like that too! (hahx, i've got to wait for prince charming to take me in his arms first) the bride was a manager that i'm close with back then.....

then we went back to my workplace to touch up the deco and prepare the party pack.... so i changed into my PJ and everyone could see my big small brother :P
oh! and the party was a success....

THANK YOU SAIFUL AND IDAH FOR THE HELP!
and saiful and siti for the beautiful thong and silk boxers!

9th March
i hate high ranks who backstab and bad-mouth.... you're of higher position AND seniority, so act like it.....

10th March
i'm going to an underage party tomorrow @ zouk. no comments.

And now I don't understand what I'm going through
Must be a plan that led me to you
Because the hurt just disappears
In every moment that you are near
Just like an answered prayer
You make the loneliness easy to bear

~~Tell me you love me and I promise I will love you through and through.~~
~~Yesterday, today and tomorrow too.~~

2008-03-06T00:32:00.004+08:00

Okays, i had so-called dance practice for the HR department ytd.... really nice to work with Rahamh again i swear! i love hearing her stories and how she istens to us as well even in we're STARs and she's a restauratuer......

SYF walk-through was eye-opening... the water polo guys are hott while the taekwondo team (of HCI) sucked..... no comments.... good luck to band number 1, Guangyang Secondary School..... Mr Yee did the balloting, not me :P

today? nothing. just laze around. had fun with Saiful though. Pictures - soon enough.

You know everything that I'm afraid of
You do, everything I wish I did
Everybody wants you, everybody loves you
I know I should tell you how I feel
I wish everyone would disappear
Every time you call me, i'm too scared to be me
And I'm too shy to say
I got a crush on you
I hope you feel the way that I do
I get a rush
When I'm with you
Boy, I have a crush on you

Tell me you love me and I promise I will love you through and through.
Yesterday, today and tomorrow too.

2008-03-05T01:39:00.004+08:00

Well, today's just crazy....

The specialist check-up was boring. Good thing i brought my mum (who needs to be there to pay for the medical expenses) to talk dirty and bitch about everyone there! Thank you mak aku!
hahx, whatevs...

The movie (Leap Years) was great! I swear i cried. Not too much lah, cos the band alumnus were all there! so malu....
the touching story, the great lesson for me, the many quotable quotes, and the theme song really impacted me..... when will i find that somebody to hold?

The crazy part, my sudden need to be in school, so Poly, here I come!
I've applied to RP, SP, NYP... well applying by the end of the week more like it.... Same choice as before, biomed, biotech, aerospace/biomed engineering.....
the decision shocked many, but i really want my cert before NS and A's is just not connecting with me right now. a diploma is what i want to do and even though its late, im still living my dream :D ( a round of applause for fade!)

Heres some more lyrics! :)

Would you know my name?
Will it be the same?
If I saw you in heaven
I must be strong, and carry on.
Cause I know I don't belong
Here in heaven

I guess they're right. At least i fell in love and lost you, rather then i didn't love you at all.
But if you reciprocate the feeling, I'll love you through and through, yesterday today and tomorrow too

2008-03-03T02:10:00.003+08:00

Suntastic Sunday!

It's a Sunday, no school today. It's a family holiday! Time for you, and time for me to be together.

I miss that song. I miss the team that comes with that song.

Well, Club Rainbow was a blast! Apparently, i sang that "Suntastic Sunday" song and the "washing hands" song. They didn't mind my horrid singing, hell, they joined me!

And suddenly our destiny has started to unfold,
When your next to me, I can see the greatest story love has ever told,
Now my life is blessed with the love of an angel - how can it be true?
Somebody to keep the dream alive - the dream i found in you
I always thought that love would be the strangest thing to me,
But when we touch, I realize, that I found my place in heaven by your side.

Can this ever happen to me now? Well, all i can say is that you are the sex! (No pun intended :P)

Hmmm, i say that was a jolly good time i had just now! Though waiting for you was like waiting for the sky to drop.....
While waiting for you, i'd like to thank Saiful Steward for "accompanying" me over the phone. Lucky he has a lot of stories to share.

Later after sleep, i'm meeting Saiful to chill before we attend Re-cap meeting at Bukit Batok.

Oh, Saiful, i swear Sara (AMK) is f**king hot! If i were 100% straight, i'd take her and be jealous of every guy whom she talks to! Hahx, same goes for Siti and Fazi anyways.

Anyways, You've Been Missed!
You're the cheese on my macaroni!

TTFN

2008-02-29T11:50:00.007+08:00

29th Feb!

Bday was not really a blast, but real meaningful. Apparently, my grandpa (who forgets alot nowadays) remembered my birthday, my age, and my floating status of work/study.
I was so touched by that gesture! He called me up in the afternoon and started singing happy birthday! In English nonetheless (well, he was English educated).
I nearly cried, but knowing me, i wouldn't.

The whole day was full of surprises. Surprised that someone did not remember my bday, and other happy surprises. I had the staff of Fish and co to sing happy birthday (without the rap and standing on chair!) I had people near and far wishing me happy birthday. Met some people I've been missing ever since i left sec school/ JC.

The whole of 27th Feb was full of food. Seafood! Shiok! Lobster, prawns, cockles, squid, octopus, fish and chip :P
28th Feb was not so kind to me though. Apparently, my lovely band juniors got into trouble because they gave me my birthday present when the band instructor was teaching.
I was so happy to see the present! A huge Tigger with a flower on its wrist saying happy birthday. I nearly cried, but you know i won't (At least, not in front of them)

TKD wasn't that bad. Took class, everyone not good mood, so end on time. No comments needed.

Today's plan, to use up my GV complimentary pass. I'll have coffee sometime with Saiful today. That's all I can plan now, still drowsy. Wake Up!

P/S: Adora Chou is hot. I'm turning bi. So much for resolutions.

You! Talking to you every night is all I need. I've told you last night i'm not your type, and I won't be bothered to wait for you to change and suit your likings for me. I'm lucky I didn't put up much hopes from the start. I know myself better. After all the relationships i've been through, I know I shouldn't fool myself now.
What makes me think love @ 1st sight still exist for me? Dream on Fade! :D

2008-02-26T01:13:00.001+08:00

okays, so continuing wit the previos post. heres a follow-up

Adora and me - gurlfren status (lesbian lah)

you and me - i wish you're the 1. what happened day was a complete mess, a screw-up. i shld have known. hopefully, you'll till wanna meet? i dont know.

okays, i fell in love. love at first sight. but the person, well, is the "lets take things slowly". you definitely know im not right? anyways, i really miss him and want him so bad! the last time i felt this was with my ex lah! (thats like ages ago)

im a hard to get person, your a straight forward, cut the crap guy. im water, you're fire. im yin, your yang. dont you see?

despo fade! i swear!

Happy Birthday to my twin/bestie, [Mys-Zi]

Its undeniable
that we should be together
It's unbelievable how I used to say that I'd fall never
The basis you need to know
If you don't know just how I feel,
Then let me show you now that I'm for real
If all things in time, time will reveal

Yeah...One... you're like a dream come true
Two... just wanna be with you
Three... girl its plain to see
That you're the only one for me
And four... repeat steps one through three
Five... make you fall in love with me
If ever I believe my work is done
Then I start Back at One

TTFN

2008-02-23T01:08:00.002+08:00

made 2 friends! McD new Ops Co-ordinator (complains/compliments handler) Adora Sarah Chou, and a cutey pie name Raihan.

Adora's really hot, i've known her before i met her(thru emails) and shes a real hottay and nice person. she has so much cerita to share with me and well, i have loads of stories to share as well as usual! Adora, coffee sometimes? ;)

Well, Raihan's some guy i met on chat. fucking comel! and hes really nice! well, you know what im gonna do right? ;P only time will tell i guess

you! i've missed you... my fave.... dont give me the bull shit that we gew up and apart cos we're not even exclusive!

enough lah, tired

TTFN

2008-02-12T01:06:00.001+08:00

So V-day's gonna be boring cos your busy sending flowers to other people, i have band/tkd, saiful has got work? damn-ed lah.

2008-02-01T01:02:00.002+08:00

Okays, an update for the month of love:

1) My resolution of turning full gay is on the right track.

2) Bday coming soon!

3) Valentines is hopefully a good one. But too bad you're not free on that day :(

4) Met up with a guy. really cute, easy-going, and high drive! :P

5) hoping to not be a virgin after/on my 18th bday.

6) NS or A's? apparently, my deferment failed cos im only doing part-time studies. damn-ed

7) enough lah. miss the people from gy and yj.

TTFN

Baby Love

2008-01-28T17:07:00.001+08:00

Anyone up for being my Baby Love?

I remember like it was yesterday
First kiss and I knew you changed the game
You have me, exactly, well you want it,
And I'm on it

And I ain't ever gonna let you get away
Holding hands never made me feel this way
So special, boy it's your, your smile
We so in love

Been a minute and we still holding it down
Butterflies every time you come around
You make me, so crazy
It's crazy, oh baby

And I don't ever wanna be with no one else
You're the only one that ever made me melt
You're special, boy it's your, your style
We so in love

You're my always and forever
You're my sunshine
On my mind, constant
Think about you all the time
You're my everything

You my new school (love)
You my old school (love)
And it's so true
You're the one I'm thinking of

You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)
You're my every, everything that I could ever dream of
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)
You're my every, every, every, everything
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)
You're my every, every, every, everything
You are my baby love, my baby love
You make the sun come up (Oh boy, oh boy)
(You make the sun come up on a cloudy day
You're my number one, you're my special thing)
You're my every, every, every, everything

2007-10-30T20:59:00.000+08:00

Dedicated To You :D

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven

Would you hold my hand if I saw you in heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my way through night and day
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in heaven

Time can bring you down; time can bend your knees
Time can break your heart, have you begging please, begging please

Beyond the door there's peace I'm sure
And I know there'll be no more tears in heaven

Would you know my name if I saw you in heaven?
Would it be the same if I saw you in heaven?
I must be strong and carry on
'Cause I know I don't belong here in heaven
'Cause I know I don't belong, here in heaven

~~To you, it's never too late to apologise~~

Hands Down

2007-10-18T15:09:00.000+08:00

Hands Down

My hopes are so high that your kiss might kill me,
So won't you kill me, so I die happy?
My heart is yours, to fill or burst,
To break or bury, or wear as jewelry.
Whichever you prefer.

Hands down, this is the best day I can ever remember.
I'll always remember the sound of the stereo,
The dim of the soft lights, the scent of your hair,
That you twirled in your fingers.
And the time on the clock when we realized it's so late.
And this walk that we shared together.
The streets were wet and the gate was locked,
So I jumped it and I let you in,
And you stood at your door with your hands on my waist,
And you kissed me like you meant it,
And I knew that you meant it.
That you meant it, that you meant it.
And I knew that you meant it, that you meant it

~~Be mine, be my Mona~~

2007-10-01T20:41:00.001+08:00

eh, i takde time to update..... im putting this line 1st k? i busy with work lah... got alo of story to tell u tau!

i will always luv you

2007-09-16T12:13:00.000+08:00

looking back, i think my old post were better.... smiles, im back!!! ambik kau budak budak kental! u all u all good luck for O's and A's, FaD3 handsome rests at home not even going to sch!! hahahx, budak budak kental! jangan kacau bapok tau! hahah..... aniwaes, i hope my emo emo over alr, cos im out of black eye-liners :D ....... to those sundals reading my blog, thk u for reading, but dont u dare sundal with my boys!!! hahaha, imiss the old days where im more gay den now, but nvm...i shall mainain my equilibrium now of being Bi :))

a last emo emo love song befoe i try to turn back to the way i are.....

If I should stay
I would only be in your way
So I'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

And I will always love you
I will always love you

You, my darling you

Bittersweet memories
That is all I'm taking with me
So goodbye, please don't cry
We both know I'm not what you, you need

dats all peeps.... arigato gozaimas, tahi-aku kau-ramas :))
TTFN

Lost heart, wondering soul

2007-08-28T01:05:00.000+08:00

A lost heart, a wondering soul

A Thoughtful Song:
Is it possible Mr. Loveable
Is already in my life?
Right in front of me
Or maybe you're in disguise

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Most relationships seem so transitory
They're all good but not the permanent one

Who doesn't long for someone to hold
Who knows how to love you without being told
Somebody tell me why I'm on my own
If there's a soulmate for everyone
If there's a soulmate for everyone

Soulmate - Natasha Beddingfield

Is it possible that i die tonite w/o having any1 know my hearts true content?
Will any1 know that i'm full of regrets, heartaches brought close to the chest?

I might seem to have everything, yet I have nothing

I've got a heart full of pain, head full of stress
Handful of anger held in my chest
Uphill's a struggle, blood sweat and tears,
Nothing to gain, everyting to fear

2007-07-17T00:27:00.000+08:00

me hearts eu???

hahx, so i had fun hanging out wit lynard on Sunday nite... he has a nudist eye, whereas mine is covered cos i wear contacts..... hahx, bored teens....
Apparently, i forgot how the orientatin of my school is like due to the long holiday i had! no time for myself u noe!!!
i feel happy but im seriously sick now.... damn-ed....
my post are ambiguous, it might talk bout u but sum1 else too.... hahx, only in specific cases where it will be more obvious :-)

If you want me, you lust for me
If you need me, you love me

Just A Thought

And I hate how much I love you boy
I can’t stand how much I need you
And I hate how much I love you boy
But I just can’t let you go
And I hate that I love you so

Sad and it’s not fair how you take advantage of the fact that I
Love you beyond the reason why
And it just ain’t right

That's all for the pondering :)
TTFN

2007-07-14T16:43:00.000+08:00

Updates for the week

Heres an update of my life:

im not single :)

i have a very nice fren whos a bit sikh(sick), but really nice
i've missed too many Lit periods in school
for that point, i like to back it up with the fact dat i've skpped alot of school days, i just need the holidays lah
no MC for most of those days again
chance of going poly = 20%
exam results = horrible

Bio = B

GP = D

Lit = E

Chem = S

Malay = S

Maths = U
Eating way too much nowadays, hence the greater number on the weighing scale :P

Wat my fren did to cheer me up:

Lyrics for you:

Bless The Broken Road

I set out on a narrow way, many years ago

Hoping I would find true love, along the broken road

But I got lost a time or two

Wiped my brow and kept pushing through

I couldn't see how every sign, pointed straight to you

Every long lost dream led me to where you are

Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars

Pointing me on my way, into your loving arms

This much I know is true

That God blessed the broken road

That led me straight to you

Yes he did

I think about the years I spent, just passing through

I'd like to have the time I lost, and give it back to you

But you just smile and take my hand

You've been there you understand

It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true

~~Bhind your smile, i see your sorrow~~

~~Bhind your laugh, i see your tears~~

~~Bhind you, i see myself~~

~~the one who makes you whole again :)~~

2007-07-08T08:22:00.000+08:00

What a week!

Well, lets recap what i did dis week...... hmmmm,

1) Watched transformers with HHGHKD.... damn nice!! i'll watch it again with you!!

2) Got a S(Subpass)for H2Chem, U(Ungraded)for H1 Math and an E(passing grade) for H2 Lit

3) Lit teacher is pissed of dat my attendance is only 7 out of 17.... Shes nice but shes a bitch, hence the title Pretty Bitch.....

4) Embarrased myself during TKD.... damn-ed.... Great Grand Master is really pissed off with me....

5) Skipped sch.... again.... on Fri.... no MC, 2 badd

6) Still injured.... emotionally and physically

7) Ytd was 07/07/07

8) Poly doesnt want me :(

Thats all i have to say for now....

miss those days wen im in sec sch....

Wats luv got to do with it baby?

Its about us? Its about trust?

2007-07-02T23:56:00.000+08:00

All-rounded tireness

Unproductive today, no school for JCs!!! Got Sub-pass for H2 Chem,went to J8 in the late afternoon, bored and tired.... likely hood of going poly so far = 50%

miss princess S, hahax...... had fun werking with you on sat nite at AMKP!! Thx for helping with the decor!!!

McD's Red Pea program, a creative and interactive 3 part program - Play, Exercise & Art

Random-ness, out of bored-ness, feel the out of place-ness

TTFN

2007-06-27T21:51:00.000+08:00

Do You Know?

Do you know what it feels like to be the last one to know the lock on the door has changed?

ur msg didnt help, so fuck it
block test/common test suck!
if i fail, im off to a polytechnic for an education dats ideally suited for me =))
im too tired to say more

~~More lyrics?~~
Loving you is not luck or illusion,
it's in the make-up of our DNA...
Its not by chance we make the perfect solution,
don't fight it baby, you know dats just destinys work ;))

im not in love,im not even in the phase...
im still waiting for you to say you're mine

2007-06-26T21:55:00.000+08:00

Now with translations =))

Bila rindu, ku sebut nama mu = when i miss you, i'll call your name
Bila resah, menyesak di dadah = when the uneasiness settles in my chest
Bila rindu, ku panggil nama mu = when imss you, i'll call yor name
Bla resah, gelisah terasa = when uneased, i feel out of place

Ke manakah hati ini kan ku bawa? = where can i bring this heart?

Kau ku nanti, di hujung rindu = i'll wait for you, at the end of my love
Dan bertemu di dalam khayalan = and we can meet in dreams
Kau ku nanti, di puncak rasa = i'll wait for you, at the pinnacle of feelings
Asmara cinta membakar jiwa = for my soul is enraged by love

Ku berikan hati ini, kepadamu = i give my heart, to you
Kekasih ku = my love

well, to dat person who cares for me..... wateva u said today hurts..... i noe you warned me at the start of the day, but i wasn't prepared for all the name calling you gave me today..... i think that wateva u said today was hidden feelings waiting to be unleashed..... im hurt, damn-ed you......

im still waiting for prince charming to come and set me free...... i dont really wanna rescue myself..... ;P

TTFN

2007-06-25T23:06:00.000+08:00

lovestoned/i dont think you know

and the love songs make me cry......

cos here i am, left all alone-

cold, lost, depresseddd

You can see it in my eyes,

Im all cried down, With nth left to say

sumtimes, i wish i can end my life here......

ends my misery, saves you with all the trouble

ppl tell me i have the charisma, the looks, but y am i all alone, empty, dark, lost inside???

my lack of trust? my lack of interest? my lost of hope in all dats good and pure?

sum1 be my answer, be the 1who can take my breath away

stay with me thru the lonely nitex, listen to me, hug me, cuddle me,

want me, need me, dote on me, make me and never break me,

be my confidence, my eyes, my everything

OR simply put it -- someone, anyone lurve me

2007-06-24T15:01:00.000+08:00

A Song Dedication

Ketika pertama kujumpa denganmu

Bukankah pernah kutanyakan padamu kasih

Takkan kecewakah kau pada diriku

Takkan menyesalkah kau hidup denganku kasih

Memang kau bukan yang pertama bagiku

Pernah satu hati mengisi hidupku dulu

Dan kini semua kau katakan padaku

Jangan ada dusta di antara kita kasih

Semua terserah padamu

aku begini adanya

Kuhormati keputusanmu,

apapun yang akan kau katakan,

Sebelum terlanjur kita jauh melangkah,

Kau katakan saja

~love is blind, love is selfish, but most importantly love is pure~

~cherish not what you have, but cherish those who are around you~

wat i am

2007-06-19T21:27:00.000+08:00

~What FaD3 is really like~

k, heres a post dedicated to me and to huever who wana noe me......

Fadhil/FaD3/Maestr0/Ad is:

If you are mean/sarcarstic to me, i'll be the most heartless &/or meanest person/bitch/bastard u have ever met in your life
If you ever insult me, im fine wit dat. Don't expect me to shuddap after dat. You know i spread news faster den the straits time
Learn to back of from me. If I ever give u the Malas Nak Layan(heck care)(MNL) attitude, den dont bother standing your ground on dat topic cos wateva u say, i'll either give u 1 word answers (the most 4 words) or just grunts or tolk to ppl arnd me except u or i wont tolk much. If ur in front of me, notice the eye-roll thingy
If you go to far, no amount of sorry or love-y love-y shit will work. We can settle it in bed though. (Provided you're good looking enuff, i got standards)
If u act like an asshole/asswipe, dont bother wanting to go out wit me......

Additional Reading (Chicken Soup For the Noob)

PISCES MAN

He is very emotional and always allow himself to be very emotional. He can have a good night sleep and be in a good mood, and less than few hours atwork he can be very moody. He does not understand things or try to understand things easily. If you notice him carefully, you will notice whatkind of moods he is in.

He is a thinker and able to do well at work and always succeed. His normalgestures mean he always look at other people faults, but he will not talkabout it. He has the ability to know your thought and able to tell you whatyou are thinking about.

He can mostly memorize all his anger, his loves. They are his important secrets and he will keep them to himself and will never let you know. He is not a very ambition man and careless about his position in society. Wealthdoes not drawn his attention, because he is not greedy man and as well hethinks money is not something that will last.

He could be very careless about his future. He does not like to fight against all odds, but instead following the stream and make life easier. Sometimes because he likes to take an easy path, which cause him very unsteady future.

He is kind and slightly lazy, but it is his cute character. He hates rules and regulations. He will never look down on people. He is a polite guy and can be very aggressive when he is mad. He loves to think that he lives in a beautiful world and surround by nice people, so if he finds his world is cruel and not what he expects, he will live in his world instead.

His other charm is that he is a funny guy, and it is his real weapon. He cantease you and yet make it looks like one of his joke. Even when he is sad, he still has that funny face, so you could hardly tell if he is mad or depress. He likes to hide his feeling and help other people especially those who need friend or lonely.

He will be everything that you want and everything you do not want. He has a chance to make it as much as a chance to fail. He can determine to make it work and can do it well, except he tends to lost his energy with otherimportant things, that's how he miss man y of his good opportunity.

He can be happy and content by himself. What he think is important is not"Love" ,but firm status and stability. He has plenty of love for you.

He is a good speaker, as much as he is a good listener. When he is with you,he wants to be happy. He understand his partner's emotional. He likes to take a long rest and sometimes being alone. If he needs to be alone, try not to disturb him.

He is a sensitive, quiet , shy and easily hurt. He wants to feel worthy. He can be mad and noisy, but once he calm down, he will be that happy person again. He is not a jealous or possessive guy, and if he feels jealous he will hide it. He has many friends of both sex, and he care about his friends. He likes to have lots of friends, so you can not get jealous or else you will loose him. He likes beautiful things, so if a pretty woman walk by he will look ,so do not get mad at him knowing this fact.When he is lonely or feeling sad, be close to comfort him. He does not like to take advice,so if you want him to listen or to follow your advice, you have to act as a good sample for him first. He likes a cheery and a smart woman.

If you treat him like he is your special person, then he will be that special person for you. He will trust you if he is in love, but try not to over doing it and spoil him too much. You have to know yourself worth all the time too.

TTFN

2007-06-10T00:19:00.000+08:00

well, im not doing so well in JC..... mayb bcos im skipping too much lessons??? hmmmm.... dnno dont care...... well, tagg boards gone.... dats a relief.... hahx.... aniwaes, leave me testimonials instead aitex??

alot of tings are going on now.... i need to settle things down b4 i can find my inner peace, or sanity or wateva u call it.....

im back in TKD!!! John u sucka, im wearing all black now!!!

me and my JC life

2007-05-08T20:50:00.000+08:00

long tym no blog eh?? well today's like my 8th week in sch?? and i havent said aniting bout it lahhh..... well, im currently in YJC, lousiest JC and im full of regrets... how bout dat??

updates:

1) in band for like 2 weeks before i decided its not my thangg... now in malay cultural society(MCS) & rugby. MCS meets once a week for 1.5h whereas band meets 3ice a week, last till 8pm and still suck.

2)changed class after 3 weeks... now doing H2 Chem, Bio, Lit + H1 Maths...... weird combi, but better den my previous(H2CH,BI,MA,H1EC)

3)i have enuff eye candies in sch to keep me going but sum1 has to remind me they're not the cutest..... heck care....

4) made good frens wit dis gurl, however, im not on tolking terms wit her from today onwards :P

5) im depressed... i tink im emo now.... i had tears in my eyes like twice

6) i hate JC life.....

7) im attached yet im not.....

well those are quick updates of my life...... im about to plan my suicide now, till next tyme.... :)

TTFN......

2007-02-28T10:57:00.000+08:00

ok, i forgot to publish this post lahh.... sorry ehk??

we went out on the 26th to celebrate Zi's bday!!!! yAY!! hahx, and on the way celebrate mine also lahh.... hahx, we all brought our stuff and went for a picnic.... at macritchie.... no comments.... aniwaes, i brought brownies, good try, but not as good as 2nd batch i made..... nvm... hahx, k lah, the pix are more fun to look at, so enjoy!!!!

our food :)

our barang2

[Maestr0 FaD3] & [mys-zi]

it started raining

so the divas shined!

monkeys at the reservoir

hrd to explai our relationship, i shoot her, she shoot me :P

new way of way of taking photos

trying to act tall

my popular face ;)

fyra

unshaved armpits

the cheat gang!

stressed with cheat!

O's reults and NIESB(YOUTH)

2007-02-12T09:24:00.000+08:00

well, got the resuls last friday..... dnno which ite to go to now...... hahahx.... no offence to those going there..... i just think dat ite is real cool ya noe...... aniwaes, for comparisons sake, prelims i got 18(R4), 31(R5)........ but for O's, got 10(R4), 13(R5)...... i could have done like sooo much better lah........ nvm, im happy wit where i can go.... hahx, which is like all the courses in poly :P..... (Zi, i did put poly as my choice u noe.....) aniwaes, dats friday....... ouhh ya, i went to band prac which was supposed to start at 8pm, but it started at 9+...... den i reached home at 12++....... played 2 songs(only) and went home....... its at boon lay btw...... (the other end of the world)

sat was a crazy day for me lah!!!!! arghhhhh so pissed of at ppl........ first go for band meeting at 7.30am..... i was late, (as usual, cos of last nite :P)...... sorry becbec, hahax...... den go attend band prac in school...... see those kids (i mean juniors) are really funny..... shant comment on dem.... aniwaes, den i practically flew to united square for work attachment..... im really on th verge of resigning already....... everytime i twerk, it makes me frustrated...... no wonder ppl dont last long in mac huh?? hahx..... den i flew again to meet dan at tanjong pagar mrt to go SCH together.... hahx, hes such a hottay to bad hes attached..... damn-ed...... aniwaes, hes a nice guy..... we started making fun of each other ytd at band, but bcame frens in the mrt.... u noe the type of fren who's good to quarrel with?? dat our relationship..... hahahax.....

wah i was tired, my contacts couldnt go in cos my eyes were dry (lack of sleep lah....).....i had fun in the toilet wit john, terry (aka Tom), and those who walked in and out of the toilet (esp SK)..... the contacts were dry, and its painful, and i was moaning and u get the picture?? hahx, knowing me, of course u would...... well, jasen performed as well nd he gave all his students who were performing chocolates!!!! YaY Jasen..... hahx, i shared wit my section (Eupho rawks!) and all those who have manners..... :P ....... well, the performance was pretty bad for my section.... hahx, esp me and jolinne, cos we made alot of mistakes lah pls......

after dat we jalan2 to esplanade...... bloody hell farr..... i was carrying eupho sum more..... arghhh!!!! hahx, nvm lah.... we really got closer through dis performance...... well, we rawk, we're cool, we're gnna dominate u soon!!! hahax, ok lah...i tired of typing liao..... here are sum pix of the behind-the-scenes..... hahax, TTFN..... [FaD3 out]

BTW, im short cos my genes....

P/S : sum1 said i always give an orgasmic face.... the sum1 is in 1 of the pic

Me & my choc.... every1 in backstage will rmb the mother-father wit his choc hahax

sial lah!!! sunggh tak glam

Me, my choc & the tall Jolinne

wats dat beside euu???

SK and me

i tink bout dis guy everytime cos his name is KOK....hahx, jkjk

eUpHo section!!!! yay!!!

1st Feb Weekend

2007-02-03T22:55:00.000+08:00

welll, like my title says, its the 1st feb weekend...... hmmm, im burning ahole in my pocket...... just got my pay and i treated 10 ppl to pizza hut :]....... well, they're my frens, and im the 1 werking lah (so its ok, only jenna and qiMek chipped in [thx gurls])..... hahx...... i miss dem sooo much......
so it was me, zi, jenna, qimek, sha(firah/finah), freddy (not the friday the 13th one - but looks similar ", - and dis 1 more lembut), suhaina (the tall [hahhahahahax] 1 who invite me to her bday but never gimme details =.=, no present for thou [i give u details of mine, must give present tau]), prinesh (the quiet and cautious 1 [i wishh]), aDam (good 'ol fren of all of us), and chanel!! hahahahahahax, its zima lah............ ape ape je lah boi.............
well, we were at TPY just now lah..... we supported ZiNiFy....well, they wee cheetah-licious (except for 1 part zI sang eeee)............. aniwaes, the dance and the song were great lah please...... well, i seriously miss dancing......watevs.......

do u guys/gays/gurls notice dat salsa/ballroom dancers have small "brothers"? i mean, its ok their chinese...... (sum chi are bigg though) but its incredibly small..... i rmb wen i was 9 - 10 years old...... nvm, R(A).............

well, O's results comin out soon, i suddenly feel like gg JC....... daocun's fault for brain washing me to go MI......... nvm lah, i wanna take alot alot of degrees aniwaes...... hahax........

just now Miss Swan did filming in Pizza Hut..... go figure....... some scripts

MsSwan: "i asked u to bring out the cake, not cut it"
Manager: "im sorie ma'am"
MsSwan: "i asked u to bring out the cake, not cut it"
Manager: "im sorie ma'am, i'll buy u another 1".
MsSwan: "i asked u to bring out the cake, not cut it" etc etc

knowing ms swan, she'll repeat it again and again if she can....... hahahaahahahahax..... asshole

i pity all in the bus 88 just now..... every1 staring at 6 of us...esp me, cos i was making fun of a killer...... finah face cram cos she holding back her *poop*..... :] smile gurl........

i got sumting serious to ask now.............

lets say ur dating sum1...... and the sum1 is like 1 of the better choice amongst the many dat u have seen...... the person is loving and caring and u dont mind stead and yada yada.....
but u find out the person is drinking/smoking/doing (drugs/inhalants)....... wat wld u do? im confused....... pls tagg wit ur comments bout dis k???

haix...tmr travelling to boon lay for band (NIE) and b4 dat have to go my mac to give toys.... haiyo...penat ah dey...... i cant wait for skool to start...... k lah, dats all..... update soon..... TTFN

1st update

2007-01-26T20:32:00.000+08:00

well, dis is my 1st update for the year.....pathetically true.......... hmmmm, the new year didnt start out well...... ive been sick and stressed out ever since...... now im having gastric... yaY!! ape ape je lah....... aniwaes, u all u all ni semua never keep in contact eh!!! the only person hu keep in contact is jazz and jenna, cos we went put the other day and all...... went to eat fish and co.!!! hahax, zi owes me a treat....... i so long never perform.....my butt feels like it needs a good booty shaking!!!! shake dat booty, turn it around, bac dat ass up, wind it round....... u all u all, rmb to keco kecoh wen taking results ok???? hahax

ehhh 4gt to tell u, i went to my first pub dis week!!!!!! it was a club named ROGUE...... well, the bartenders are all HOTTAY!!!!! next month im gg anoher 1 for my bday...... all of u kentals can relax 1 corner and watch me :)....... well, the dance floor was smalll, but i had fu dirty dancing wit ppl i dnno..... oh yeah!! i rawk, im cool, i dominate the skool...... well not anymore......... actually still do cos i get loads of attention fro ppl!!! hahx....... u all u all stilll miss me and i can tell...... hu wldnt???? even i miss myself........ klah, my stomach still hurts now and i wanna stop here........ u all u all, pls rmb to vote for fantastic 4 in the dance floor comp....... and if u free tmrgo to sengkang rivervale plaza to see see look look my deco for their McD grand opening...... toodles!!!

P/S: moisturize ur breast..........

2006-10-23T00:10:00.000+08:00

well, its the last day of puasa officially..... parents are out shopping fer no reason, and its 1200hrs.... i haf to babysit my 2 sis...... damn..... aniwaes, i wanna join an outside band but im spoiled fer choice(s)....... theres SSW, OMS, NIE, SWS...... well, SSW doesnt nid a tubist so dats out, SWS is too high of a standard (dats out)..... now, out of dis 2 (OMS, NIE), 1 is accomplished but the other is just starting out.... meaning i wont lose face cos theres nth to loose in the first place.... haix watevs....

to my dearr 'van, im here updating aitex?? cheer up babe, if u tink dats badd, i haf to live true the same shitt as well..... if u nid to tolk to sum1, im here :].....

aniwaes, i miss skool...damn it, didnt tink id sae dis..... u n0e wat was my parting memory wit my frens?? we played pepsi&coca cola game... pepsi cola is the game u step on ur frens leg, whereas coca cola is the hand version fer those teachers hu dont allow u to play standing up games during ur "lock-up" session after practical..... i bruised my knee badly cos i tried to get andrea (my kayaking/rock-climbing partner) but slipped and fell in between her "aherm" area and she fell on me..... we just stopped and laughed out loud fer real....and so did the whole hall, cos every1 didnt dare to join us cos there were 2 HODs looking after us....they bcame our critics/commentators instead...... well, its fun lah.... its the only ting to remind me y i miss sch dat much... the frens, the laughter....

well, the practical itself was a killer...... physics was great lah!! thx to SiHui(aka saggy ;p) fer having such a golden mouth!! the day b4, she asked me,"hey, u guys learn the pendulum bob rite for physics?" i was tinking, dat has never came out b4....it really came out fer practical!!! yeay!!! bio sucked...i was missing specimens and apparatus....i was furious at the lab tech..... all she did was mumble sorrie.... watevs lah......i dont tink idid well for my bio prac, but i hope my phy pull my marks up....haha, i did sum tings to my phy to get perfect results....;] ....... well, datts all for dis late post..... song lyrics fer todae/nite....

Stacie Orrico - Stuck

I can’t get out of bed today or get you off my mind
I just can’t seem to find a way to leave the love behind
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean

You kept me hanging from a string, why you make me cry?
I tried to give you everything, but you just gave me lies
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it, what am I waiting for?
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

Now, love's a broken record that’s been skipping in my head
I keep singing yesterday, why we gots to play these games we play?
I ain't tripping, I’m just missing you
You know what I’m saying, you know what I mean yeah

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back but you never do
I feel like such a fool

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinkin’ of you
It’s true, I’m stuck on you

I am stuck on yoooou
yoooooou
oooooooooo

Every now and then when I’m all alone
I be wishing you would call me on the telephone
And say you want me back, but you never do
I feel like such a fool, there’s nothing I can do,
I’m such a fool for you

I can’t take it what am I waiting for
My heart's still breaking, I miss you even more
And I can’t fake it, the way I could before
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I hate you, but I love you
I can’t stop thinking of you
I don’t know what to do
I’m stuck on you

oh BTW, i'll miss u guys too[juniors].... tinking of u guys.... u guys hav made up sec sch life more complete... thx fer the encouragements and farewell wishes.... i hope i wont break down during the grad ceremony on dis wed :]........
**i'll continue to tink of u no matter wat\\//i'llbehere waiting fer u all the way**

2006-10-14T22:49:00.000+08:00

well, im back blogging...... well, to share my pathetic prelim results, here we go...
EL --> C6 (Wrong calculation of marks though)
ML --> B3
Chem --> B4
Sc (Phy/Bio) --> C6
Emaths --> B4
Comb Humanities --> E8
Amaths --> F9
CCA --> A1

ouh well, wat can i sae? i'm doing my best to improve my humans, amaths and EL nowadays.... well, u noe wat?? Guangyang sux, cos im still having skool up to next week!!!! ARGH!!!!!!!

aniwaes, my dear Sports Leaders, we're gnna haf a 3D2N camp, and its gnna be super fun!!!! yeay me!! aniwaes, to those fasting, happy fasting aitex?
and enjoy ur hari raya (esp those hu dont take O's).......... i've been really sick nowadays...... went to the damn dentist cos my filling (amalgam) came off long ago, and they sae the hole is so big and deep dat its touching my nerves..... so total days of me not fasting:4!! this has never happened to me b4!!!

argghhhhhhh....... nvm........ i noe of tings dat make my pain go away..........
im curious, if u ever meet ur dream person, is it possible to be together??? im tolking bout the dream person in ur dreamsss....... well, for me, i found the person...... at a very weird place and we were in an argument against sum RI guy..... well, ive been scribbling the persons nickname loooong b4 i met the person...... and so the persons nick is all over my books...... haix....

ok, for those juniors of mine(beloved or nort), i'll be coming back to help out my ex-ccas permanently..... its a deal i made wit the PE/CCA HOD....... ouh wells, it wont be dat bad (i hope)..... and btw, im not gg JC to do dat 3mths tingy.... not bcos of my bad results, but bcos im not gg JC dats y my results are badd...... im going La Salle - Sia Colloege of the Arts to study Music Technology or take a diploma in Music (Teaching)...... i'd either be a sound/audio engineer, composer or teacher..... or i would just sign on to army band and be a BSM or RSM :)........

well, i guess dis is a super long post..... and im gnna end off wit lyrics to an old song i lurve.....

Nobody Knows - Babyface
I pretended I'm glad you went away
These four walls closin' more every day
And I'm dying inside
And nobody knows it but me

Like a clown I put on a show
The pain is real even if nobody knows
Now I'm cryin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

Why didn't I say
The things I needed to say
How could I let my angel get away
Now my world is just a-tumblin' down
I can see it so clearly
But you're nowhere around

Chorus:
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And, I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

I carry a smile when
I'm broken in two
Now I'm nobody without someone like you
I'm tremblin' inside
And nobody knows it but me

I lie awake, its a quarter past three
I'm screamin' at night
As if I thought you'd hear me
Yeah my heart is callin' you
And nobody knows it but me

How blue can I get
You could ask my heart
But like a jigsaw puzzle its been torn all apart
A million words couldn't say just how I feel
A million years from now you know
I'll be lovin' you still

Chorus: The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And, I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me

Tomorrow mornin'
I'm hittin' the dusty road
Gonna find you wherever, ever you might go
I'm gonna unload my heart
And hope you come back to me

Said when the nights are lonely...
Chorus:
The nights are lonely
The days are so sad
And, I just keep thinkin' about
The love that we had
And I'm missin' you
And nobody knows it but me (x3)

well, b4 i go..... I LOVE SAXOPHONISTS

2006-09-28T20:43:00.000+08:00

sorIe for n0t updating my blogg...... well, i have a full update ready by the end of the week cos it will be end of the month..... my prelims results will be up here as well, for all to laugh at..... haix....so bad sia the results.... and im fasting, cant scold and curse and swear....damned..........k, dis post is to add sumting in my blog...hahaha, TTFN......

Oi

2006-09-15T08:59:00.000+08:00

OI, so loooong never blog..... ape aje lah budak nie...... ok, todae was chem p1 and geog paper........ no comments lah k?? aku nak giler lah sial doing all dis papers...... its prelims.... ok, fine.... its suppose to get us ready for O's... ok im fine.... but it doesnt say FIND ME IN 10-YR SERIES.... it says FAIL U MOTHA***KER...... seriously...... malas nak layan nie semua lah...... u noe how i feel wen im doing dis papers or wen im studying??? i tell miself its for dat cert...... which aint gnna be of use wen u die....... haiyo.....nvm lah..... aniwaes, pantat lah the SI...... call it a singing competition yet u cant sing...... seriously....... to a musician, ur making noise......... haha, i sound as if im dat good........ hey! u cant blame me! seriously...... ive been influenced by dis certain hottay hu calls me sweetie.... u noe hu u r....... the person tolks like dat, so i haf to keep my guards up all the tym..... just in case..... aniwaes, go hear the song kamasutra lah ppl!!! nice u noe... thx to sotong boi aka snooze ball for introing the song...... k, for pix, i hav linked it up to sum place easier k??? so make sure u guys check out my foto album..... the pix will alwaes remain candid and all of a sudden type...... no way r u posing fer ma fone honey!!! the link is at the bottom of dis post....

im confused, i lurve u but i hate u, i cant stop tinking of u...... stuck on u? i hope... lurve u? i wish... ;)

http://maestrofade.myphotoalbum.com/

\\Horny\\ + //Crazy// = 4E4!!!

2006-08-19T11:09:00.000+08:00

ok, fer dis post, i wont be tolking much except for my captions lah eh..... k, dis week, i tink class stress?? den we all go crazy and all..... pix speaks a 1000 words as usual, but vids, woah!! they speak millions!! hahahaha, im embarassed..... k, its a bit porn-ish lah k, just dont take ur eyes of the screen wen u watch it!!

Part 1: Prelude

Part 2: OMG!

alrite, 3rd video is about lynard..... dis is martial gone wrong ya'll.....

hahaha, ok...... now we get on wit the pics.... This is during physics practical.... 15/08/06

dats me and swee hao....my darling......

class doing physics practical.... the 2nd part...

its like every1 never play wit torchlight b4....

ok..... the next pix are for 16/08/06, our EL oral day......

John practising his pronounciations......

during maths....every1 didnt gave a damn and ate as if its recess....

ronn trying to tell a story... form the horses mouth ya'll...

dis pix is full of symbols... the person hu can tell me wat it means get chocolates from me.... :)

ok, im sorry bout the pix being the wrong way and all.... i'll try to get it uprite k?? TTFN.....

L0nG poSt p2

2006-08-11T20:14:00.000+08:00

11/08/06

well, 2daes friday.... and after a good long break, we come back to face mock exams!!! f**k sHit, its Amaths sum more..... how u tink i wld pass???? pls lah!!! i wont study during the break, id rather earn $$$ or get laid or sumting....... next....... as usual, after skool was more interesting lah.... ok, i made sum interesting discoveries in skool...... 1st, me and firah has a telephatic-asjahdsajf ting going on c0s our bags are like inverted colours and we are pisces, so dats y lah mayb..... just like me and zi..... kk, boring rite my post todae??? k, funny parts now....

well, todae, firah g0t PUNKED!!! hahahahahahaha, i aint jk wit u ma man..... she really g0t punked!!! kk, pix speaks a 1000 words rite??? well, enjoy dem den....... hahaha

dis is the water cooler w/o the long pipes to refill bottle

door wit 2 wooden panels missing...sum guys are just too horny and haf to peep ya n0e...

dats tissue in the fan

fire in the bowl???

watching firah do a body check trying to look fer her fone....nina dah boring ke???

all look at zi saying sumting smart (dats y were smiling, its a first!)

makcik firah

she looks like a mouse eh??

shuld we go n0w??

imagine her suprise wen she realised it was faris all along!!! her hp was found but look at her face!!! you got punked!!

k, shall do another post regarding the following week, it shall be called "HORNY WEEK"..... u'll find out y....

lOng poSt p1

2006-08-10T06:25:00.000+08:00

Ok, dis post will be long k? its the update for National Day week, after learning fest/skool concert.....

9/8/06
i having my menses now, so im pretty sick!!! shit..... aniwaes, after werk, wen to meet swee hao, jie min, shu xian to go ndp together..... sum lurvely guy gave me and jm the tix... lurve u baby!!

aniwaes, i only liked the parade/pre-parade/fireworks segment..... all the rest makes me yawn.... den after dat, we went xploring arnd the kallang basin and got lost..... jm was complaining while me and swee hao were having fun getting lost.... inilah budak budak zaman skarang.... den we went to the bus stop to board a bus which goes to aljunied mrt station.... while waiting, saw the most cutest guy ever!! he even gave me his name and posed for pics!!! how lucky can i get?? hes name is suade (pronounced sway-ed)..... mom was hot, siblings were cute.... damn!! wat a lucky dad..... hahaha, k pix b4 going on.....

k, the peepz i went with... haohao, not photogenic lah!!

small boi boi in front of me

smelly aunty in front of us, pheeeew

n0t kallang wave but freebies up for grabs!! freebies stupify dem!!

unCool, nerdy, but all singapore!!!

smeelly toilet on the loose!!!

the moon...

the boiboi hu wants swee hao balloon, hahax, young innocence

the guy hu stood in front of me in the mrt... nice ass, not nice face...

the cutest guy!! suade!!!

dats for the celebrations.... next!!

NDP celebrati0n.....

2006-08-09T14:25:00.000+08:00

i tink my blog sortz abit like the owner :P...... everytime i post, sum will not be put up until i make new post..... wateva lah....

reach skool early todae cos im the emcee for the skool parade and concert....AGAIN!! hahahahahaha, i lurve the limelight!!! i tink im born to perform, and perform, and perform......... until i die?? nah, i sitll wanna be president or prime minister sum day..... :) ........ aniwaes, fyra was late!! i was so nervous if i haf to do it alone.... cos last year she and i were the emcee also..... but dis year easier cos no march past..... reading out the decription of each contingent sux u noe... like chasing train.... haha, aniwaes, there was dis inter class floorball match for the sec4s..... it was fun, i watched from the hall in canse u al dnno..... den the concert was ok lah..... i was trying to break the ice, but they all no mood and no atmosphere.... i emcee alone, and it was ok lah.... they all sae i funny, good den! the 1st to perform was band, den i redo my staying alive and the crowd went wild!!!! hahaha, the d&d lagi best u noe.... they all did wonderful job.... of course lah, ewan (B.A.D.) choreographer......

after everyting, i got more offers to emcee, of course i will accept rite?? lime light ppl, its fer me.... not too much lah, but must haf...... im gnna haf withdrawal symptoms again..... everytime i see the d&d practice or hear the band, i feel dat i must go and k-po or join in..... but its all over now....... my cca records sae A1, dats enuff...... im gnna miss every1 and everyting..... i tell u everyting..... he looked, like a man..... haha, ms swan is nice....go watch it on you tube....watched alot of it, soo farnie.... its better den hard gay.... seriously..... aniwaes, i wanna sleep, still exhausted from ytd dissection and todaes emcee-ing.......TTFN

diSsectI0n.....

2006-08-08T14:45:00.000+08:00

well, learning fest went smoothly..... 1st up, dat inter class sports-pursuit was ok lah..... had to look after the SLs doing duty...make sure they d0nt get bullied and make sure they d0nt get scolding from VP, P, HOD (Dicsipline)...... i care too much eh? hahah, nvm lah..... we already said dat SLs haf alot of privelliges, but obviously sum1 else must get the blame to give the other SLs the priv..... nvm, myzz nina printed her name, tka bilang orang..... busuk punya hati lah budak tu.... make fer free pulak tu....i also putting.... hahahaha, head of SL rawks!!!
aniwaes, heres the 2nd part.... the dissection went smoothly... as usual, i was shaking again....i just cant control, im not a steady person wen it comes to dis kind of nitty gritty stuff...... nvm lah, i shiver but still dissect properly wat rite? hahaha, aniwaes here is alil note to those hu are against the 2 surgeons.....

dissection was in the name of science..... u guys are equally cruel as well u noe? most of u expect the animals to just die like dat or even worse, want us to puncture the heart..... they are not experienceing pain at all, they were given anaesthetics to put dem to sleep.... if u dont believe me, ask ppl hu went true operations b4..... they got sae they feel pain during the op? did they die? no rite?!? and u cruel ppl are also bias!! just bcos rabbits are cute, u dont want us to dissect it and u only want us to KILL the frog..... yea, frogs are ugly, but they are still animals..... y dont u care bout dem as well??? we at least haf a heart to ensure they are alive....dat is wen we will high five and congratulate each other.... maintaining their heart beat is difficult w/o those fanciful machines u noe....... we at least put dem to sleep..... and FYI, sum scientist actually electrocute the animals b4 dissection...... hus cruel?? we did to show u guys, make sure u noe ur anatomy..... and FYI, if u wanna drop bio, go ahead...... we will haf less failures in the skool and our MSG will go up..... thk u......

for those hu are interested to noe, it is emotionally, physically and psychologically exhausting to do all the dissections in 1 day + listening to all u guys bad mouthing us + doing explaination + controlling u guys.....

PS: i wont put up the pics of the animals..... u want, u find ur own source.... im sick of ppl hu tinks we're cruel.....

WeiRDo

2006-07-25T21:13:00.000+08:00

k, i dnno wat telah happen to her but i tink she gone bonkers cos of skool...... well, she has always been like dis since i noe her(wen i started tolking to her lah)...... haix, only pics can describe wat happened..... just look and sae ur prayers.....

At Canteen

After School

dats firah...... her true self........ the part dat not many gets to see cos its hidden underneath...... haha, wateva lah...... aniwaes, boring lah sch nowadays...... aniwaes, more pics to be uploaded esp hits & misses cos everytime i do dat post, it will jam..... nbcb lah the com........ dah, gue malas nak type..... chow chin chow.......

r0aD reLAY

2006-07-15T14:38:00.000+08:00

ahh kau, mampus budak2 tu lari.....run like never run before....which was true in sum cases....but nvm, it was all in the name of fun... i see dem run i tired seh.... stand there like bodoh doing duty....my duty was competitor steward, which in the end sucked cos i did refreshment, traffic marshall, sign holding gundu and even entertainer of the day.... ape saje lah..... aniwaes, wats a skool event w/o pics rite? i mean cummon lah! the SLs i chose were mostly from my class and we were the cam whores lah duh~! Sls are the funnest ppl in skool u see, so we lived to dat expectation.... haha, wateva....tak klakar lah dok.... ambik kau gambar2 dier...

dis is SLs on duty + 2 runners....ade aje yg menyebuk tau!

fAmiliy photo....abg ngan kakak sachok katakan...

SLs + additonal menyebuk yg tak pakai baju SL....

same lah caption, malas i want to tink of new stuff...

1st blind SL we haf...its ZylLa wit the stupid sign at finishing line...

oveRaLl champion....sape lagi if n0t fAd3 handsome rite??

now, i'll tell u wat happened at skool....... damn lah, Mdm CHan Lee Kim hold us back cos Winsen sang dat na na na na, na na na na, hey hey hey, good bye.... she hold us back and scold us... of course the SLs all sing lah but we never admit ;P.... aniwaes, there was a mad woman hu sat bside me in dat class u noe.... pls dont scream wen u see her face!!! baca bismillah now!!!

MAD WOMAN ON THE LOOSE!!!

hArD gAY!!!

2006-07-13T11:25:00.000+08:00

well, theres hard gay fever on YouTube and now in my class, 4E4...... i honestly dont find the vids funny, not bcos i am dat sort of person but bcos its seriously not funny and i was trying hard to get the jokes..... aniwaes, here are pics fer u guys to "enjoy" on the life and times of the gayness in 4E4.... these photos are proudly brought to u by my not so new animore fone, Sony Ericsson K700i..... the models are all from E4...... dont laugh out to loud though.....

dis is sardi....the last 1 to join the "gay-ring"....

me!! looks like a transvestite.....

Om gendud looking prettier nowadays huh...

RavindaGAY.....matches his name.....cummon, dont be shy!

tHe hardest GAY in school!! John Seow AKA the HARD WOLF!!!

f**k shit?

2006-05-10T20:16:00.000+08:00

k, updates on ma life.............

skool sux....stressed up......mixed feelings bout alot of stuff
Guangyang Band = Cert Of Distinction..........Top 3 band in the category...... h0w cool
unofficially n0t a dm........ cant even decide on ma successor......
lurve PCD videos and Im n0t okay(MyChemicalRomance)
wanna learn bag pipes badly.....
miss the oppurtunity to be wit sum1.....AGAIN....... damn........i shall n0t sae whether its a guy or gal lah......
kinda like dis sumbody hus of the same age...... i tink
exams were EASY....... except papers which needs calculation
holidays are burnt c0s of skool.......AGAIN.........

k, fer the details.....................

wow, exams are a worrying sight fer me...... it tells me dat holidays are coming and another year will end......... damn, im starting to enjoy secondary skool............ it was like ytd i asked shafirah out at our 1st band practice and n0w we're graduating and we im good frens wit my worst enemy...... d&d is getting worse, im worried sick....... band has potential leaders.......but they are mostly APEs.....it means Atitude Problem Egoists......... hahaha, life getting shitier, i cant even tink of a title fer the post....... the phrase is coined by fR3@k........ aNiwaes, i haf a dream...... i dream to be a successful asshole hus popular+rich......... i wanna be Prime minister or president or Director-General of Education or chemist or forensic scientist or sound engineer or pilot or pornstar...........damn, dats lots of i wannabe......... k lah, i'll try to update ma blog k??? the ;ast tym i updated was actually farewell dinner...... miss the teachers back den....... haix...... adios amigos...........

I'll Be Missing You

2006-05-02T14:40:00.000+08:00

Yeah, this right here goes out to everyone
that has lost someone or that truly loved....

Seems like yesterday we used to rock the show
I laced the track, you locked the flow
So far from hangin' on the block for dough
Notorius they got to know thatLife ain't always what it seem to be
Words can't express what you mean to me!
Even though you're gone we still a team
Thru your family I'll fulfill your dreams
In the future can't wait to see if you'll
Open up the gates for me
Reminisce sometime the night they took my friend
Try to black it out, but it plays again
When it's real feelings hard to conceal
Can't imagine all the pain I feel
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

It's kinda hard wit you not around
Know you in Heaven smilin' down
Watching us while we pray for you
Everyday we pray for you
Till the day we meet again
In my heart is where I keep you friend
Memories give me the strength I need to proceed
Strength I need to believe
My thoughts, Big, I just can't define
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Us and the six shop for new clothes and kicks
You and me takin' flics
Makin' hits, stages they receive you on
Still can't believe you're gone
Give anything to hear half your breath
I know you still livin' your life after death

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I prayI'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to breakI'll be missing you

Somebody tell me why...
One black morning
When this life is over
I know, I'll see your face

Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day(x4)

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day

Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day
Everytime I pray
I'll be missing you
Thinking of the day
When you went away
What a life to take
What a bond to break
I'll be missing you

Every night I pray
Every step I take
Every move I make
Every single day